Realizing there is a possibility I may have fertility issues

Guess I was being a bit too optimistic that this process would be as easy as I’d hoped.  It’s Wednesday and I’m on the 15thday of my cycle and I still haven’t ovulated. I’ve had all of the physical signs I’m used to getting every month, which I always assumed meant I was ovulating, but no change in my LH (luteinizing hormone) levels.  You might recall from my last entry, I am testing my urine to see when there is a rise in LH, which will indicate that I am about to ovulate.  It would be the day after the LH surge that I would have the IUI performed.

Well, I was expecting to ovulate sometime between Saturday and Tuesday, and so I’ve been testing my urine several times a day.  It has been difficult as the days are passing and I’m definitely starting to worry that something is wrong.  Many years ago when I was about 23, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). However, I found a natural treatment for it about 4 years ago, and I just assumed I had it under control.  I discovered inositol 4 years ago while I was having the worst acne of my life, and it pretty much cured me of the acne.  It took about 6 months of trial and error at that time to find something that finally helped get rid of it.  If you ever saw how bad my skin was back then, and then saw my skin now you’d be shocked, and it’s all thanks to inositol.  I may even share a photo of my skin with no makeup on from 4 years ago to today, so you can see just how drastic the results of this supplement are.   Acne is a symptom of PCOS and I believe that must have been what was causing my breakouts. Many women with PCOS have found relief from their various symptoms using inositol.  It’s a miracle supplement for me and I take about 4-5 grams every day. The acne is just one of many symptoms I was experiencing that inositol has all but eradicated. Many women with PCOS have fertility issues due to the condition.  I just assumed that because the inositol has just about cured me of all my symptoms, that I also would not have trouble conceiving a child.  I have read multiple medical articles that show reports of studies that have been done to demonstrate inositol’s ability to help women overcome fertility issues due to PCOS.  I have also read many forums where women with PCOS related fertility issues, were then able to conceive because of inositol supplementation.  I thought that since I have been taking this supplement every day for 4 years that I was a step ahead of the fertility game.  Now I’m having doubts about that.

I spoke with my obgyn a couple days ago and she was concerned based on some of the symptoms I was experiencing.  To be clear, I always have very light spotting around the middle of my cycle every month.  I always thought it was just a sign that I was about to ovulate.  I had the spotting on Monday and so my obgyn sent me to the blood lab to see if I had indeed experienced a surge in my LH that somehow the test strips were missing.  Well, after first driving to the wrong office, then waiting an hour to have my blood drawn, the results came back showing I still have not ovulated this month. My obgyn said this might be cause for concern and scheduled me for an ultrasound on this upcoming Monday.

The trouble for me is that Monday is almost a week away, and every day spent thinking about all the possibilities, I am getting more and more upset.  I wish I could have the ultrasound today and just find out what’s going on already. The waiting is so hard. In the meanwhile, I just keep hoping I see an indication of ovulation on the test strips.  If that happens, I will still go in the next day to have the IUI done. However, if I do have fertility issues that are discovered during the ultrasound, then that will be $1500 dollars down the drain.  I am really trying not to jump to conclusions right now.

To help with all this new stress, I started working on a blanket I was crocheting a couple years ago and had set aside.  Crocheting for me is quite meditative.  It helps my brain by distracting me and also helps me feel productive.  I am still waiting on the shipment of yarn I ordered for the baby blanket, and until I get that, I will work on this other blanket.

I am so thankful for all the friends and family who have been there for me over the past week, especially my friend Sherri who has been such a comfort to me.  I just got off the phone with her before I started writing this.  She has 3 children and is someone I really admire both as a friend and a mother.  She has believed in me from the very start of this journey and has been encouraging me along the way.  Even though I feel alone going through this in many ways, having friends like her makes me realize I am not alone. So far this journey has not been as easy as I was expecting, but it has rewarded me with closer friendships and a deeper understanding of how blessed I am to have so many people in my corner rooting for and believing in me.  Another person I want to call out for their enthusiastic support is my cousin Gary. From the first moment I told him of my plans, he showered me with genuine enthusiasm and faith in me.  I will shift my focus to all the positivity and love I have been blessed with this week.  And once again, I’m thankful to each one of you who has chosen to take this journey with me here, as I blog about my experiences along the road ahead.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s